So, remember at the very beginning of this blog when I said that I would be writing on it everyday? Yeah, well, I lied. For the past 22 days of NOT writing on my blog, I was actually...LIVING!! I went on play dates with my daughter, took her swimming with my husband, and truly enjoyed being a mother who can stay at home, and focus on raising my beautiful, sweet daughter. So, after all of these great days of being with my family and not documenting about it online, I decided to write an entry about a few things that I am grateful for in my life. So, for those of you that are reading this, I hope that you're not bored and can be inspired to write down the great reasons as to why your life is awesome.
#1: My Family-
I have the best husband and daughter in the entire world. When we're all together, my husband and I have a great time watching our little girl's personality coming out in such entertaining ways. Being with these two, I am finally seeing why God's plan for a family is such a wonderful blessing, and completely necessary to move through the ups and downs of this life.
#2: My Health-
The best/worst thing for me is having access to Facebook. I love to hear about the good news of friends and families, but it breaks my heart when I read about the sad things that my friends and other close ones go through. I have so many friends that are fighting for their lives with poor health on a daily basis, and death seems to be on the doorstep of others. Having lost many loved ones at a young age myself, I am very familiar with the how it feels to be staring mortality in the face. Even though I have had my own share of health issues, I am grateful for the ones that have not found me, and my family. I am grateful that my daughter and husband are also healthy, so that we can enjoy the best things in life.
#3: My Testimony-
I can still recall with perfect clarity how I felt when I prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true the first time I read it all of the way through. It was during my first summer in Switzerland, and I can still remember how it felt when the Spirit told me that it was true. Since that moment, my testimony has been tested and strengthened throughout the many different experiences that I have had in my life. And if my life were to end today, I am happy to say that every experience that I have had, I look back now and realize that it was for my own good, regardless of what happened. Now, when I go through a new challenge or difficulty, I know that I won't feel that grateful, but I do realize now that at some point afterwards, I will look back and realize that things that happen in this life, whether good or bad, are exactly what I need to make me who I am.
In short, I am happy that I'm me, even though I could lose more weight, finish a project, or get a book published, I find fulfillment in the things that are good in life, and in me, and I hope that you realize the same with you.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Motherhood Thought #2-Facts and Myths
The entire reason that I decided to start a blog, was mostly to write about my experiences as a mother. Since I am only one of the few people that I know will be completely honest about "the unspoken truths" regarding this topic, I will post what I am really experiencing as a mom.
As my mom would say, every mother's birthing stories are like their "badges of courage". They are war tales, sharing of 'scars', and in a way, a braggart's way of showing that a woman can do something unimaginably difficult and live to tell the tale. So, even though my birth story is pretty interesting (at least I find it that way), I would like to talk in generalities for a moment.
So, your water broke, or you're scheduled to be induced, or in some other way, you find yourself headed to the hospital for the big moment. You get changed into a hospital gown, get settled into your bed, and then the real fun begins. For me, since I had gestational diabetes, I had an IV of insulin going through me the entire time. But, in addition to that, I had more tubes and wires up the yin yang, that it actually made me wonder how and when the baby was ready to come, would it even be possible to have her come out?
Then, there's the question of how long can you go without some sort of pain relief? If you're dilated to a four and contractions are starting to make your eyes cross and the anesthesiologist is super busy, how long should you wait before you give in? For me, it was fairly early, but after just three short hours of painless bliss (and a much needed nap), my epidural didn't even hang around long enough to help me to full dilation. And so, I did all of the fun parts "au natural". It was fun.
Now, here's the part that makes me laugh. Just yesterday evening, I watched the episode of "Bones" where Brennan has her baby. There she is, having an intellectual conversation with her partner while in hard labor (doesn't happen, as your oxygen mask limits any sort of verbal anything, let alone anything intelligent), pushing out a baby (her first!!) in just a few minutes, and screaming as she does this all (screaming is IMPOSSIBLE). An incomprehensibly short period of time passes when her and her partner come home to friends and family celebrating the new arrival, and Brennan looks like she just went for a jog in the park. No hunching over, no hobbling in like an old witch from one of Grimm's Fairy Tales. No total fear of going to the bathroom for the first time after the big event. It was like she just got up one morning, decided to poop out a watermelon, and continue on with her life. Yeah, it's NOT REAL.
What is real, is that even though your birth story may be eventful/uneventful, it is yours forever. Maybe to some it may seem boring or "not as cool as their experiences", but it's something you can own, and something that you can claim as one of the most "spiritual experience" you will ever have in your life.
Now, what's the craziest thing that I ever learned after giving birth to my daughter? Ironically, the fact that I pushed her out of my body, was not the hardest part of mommyhood. For me, to date, the hardest part for me, was going without sleep for a LONG time after we brought our little bundle of joy home. I remember taking her to her doctor's appointment at her one month mark, and expecting, praying, hoping for the pediatrician to give me a magical drug or method of teaching my child how to sleep through the night, so that I could actually come back to the land of the living. To my utmost dismay, he was of little to no help. He mumbled something about how it was normal to go without sleep, and that one day, the baby would start to get her nights and days in the correct order, and I would be excited when I would get more than four consecutive hours. Eventually, after several more months, I was able to have a "deep sleep" of four hours in a row, and it was the most blissful sleep I'd ever had.
I could go off for hours and hours about how hard it was for me to function over the first six to eight months of my daughter's life, and even though my daughter will be two and a half in May, the sleepless nights of her beginning days still haunt me. But, just like every time that I'm "getting real" about what Motherhood is really like, I always end each rant and rave with my own conclusion, and it is the following: "The greatest thing ever in my life is my child. I would never ever want to give her back. It's just the day to day maintenance and the giving up of my selfishness that's the real struggle." Your life is no longer your own, and it still surprises me that I even try to put myself first sometimes and it completely backfires. My life is about my daughter right now, and you know what? I'm totally okay with that.
As my mom would say, every mother's birthing stories are like their "badges of courage". They are war tales, sharing of 'scars', and in a way, a braggart's way of showing that a woman can do something unimaginably difficult and live to tell the tale. So, even though my birth story is pretty interesting (at least I find it that way), I would like to talk in generalities for a moment.
So, your water broke, or you're scheduled to be induced, or in some other way, you find yourself headed to the hospital for the big moment. You get changed into a hospital gown, get settled into your bed, and then the real fun begins. For me, since I had gestational diabetes, I had an IV of insulin going through me the entire time. But, in addition to that, I had more tubes and wires up the yin yang, that it actually made me wonder how and when the baby was ready to come, would it even be possible to have her come out?
Then, there's the question of how long can you go without some sort of pain relief? If you're dilated to a four and contractions are starting to make your eyes cross and the anesthesiologist is super busy, how long should you wait before you give in? For me, it was fairly early, but after just three short hours of painless bliss (and a much needed nap), my epidural didn't even hang around long enough to help me to full dilation. And so, I did all of the fun parts "au natural". It was fun.
Now, here's the part that makes me laugh. Just yesterday evening, I watched the episode of "Bones" where Brennan has her baby. There she is, having an intellectual conversation with her partner while in hard labor (doesn't happen, as your oxygen mask limits any sort of verbal anything, let alone anything intelligent), pushing out a baby (her first!!) in just a few minutes, and screaming as she does this all (screaming is IMPOSSIBLE). An incomprehensibly short period of time passes when her and her partner come home to friends and family celebrating the new arrival, and Brennan looks like she just went for a jog in the park. No hunching over, no hobbling in like an old witch from one of Grimm's Fairy Tales. No total fear of going to the bathroom for the first time after the big event. It was like she just got up one morning, decided to poop out a watermelon, and continue on with her life. Yeah, it's NOT REAL.
What is real, is that even though your birth story may be eventful/uneventful, it is yours forever. Maybe to some it may seem boring or "not as cool as their experiences", but it's something you can own, and something that you can claim as one of the most "spiritual experience" you will ever have in your life.
Now, what's the craziest thing that I ever learned after giving birth to my daughter? Ironically, the fact that I pushed her out of my body, was not the hardest part of mommyhood. For me, to date, the hardest part for me, was going without sleep for a LONG time after we brought our little bundle of joy home. I remember taking her to her doctor's appointment at her one month mark, and expecting, praying, hoping for the pediatrician to give me a magical drug or method of teaching my child how to sleep through the night, so that I could actually come back to the land of the living. To my utmost dismay, he was of little to no help. He mumbled something about how it was normal to go without sleep, and that one day, the baby would start to get her nights and days in the correct order, and I would be excited when I would get more than four consecutive hours. Eventually, after several more months, I was able to have a "deep sleep" of four hours in a row, and it was the most blissful sleep I'd ever had.
I could go off for hours and hours about how hard it was for me to function over the first six to eight months of my daughter's life, and even though my daughter will be two and a half in May, the sleepless nights of her beginning days still haunt me. But, just like every time that I'm "getting real" about what Motherhood is really like, I always end each rant and rave with my own conclusion, and it is the following: "The greatest thing ever in my life is my child. I would never ever want to give her back. It's just the day to day maintenance and the giving up of my selfishness that's the real struggle." Your life is no longer your own, and it still surprises me that I even try to put myself first sometimes and it completely backfires. My life is about my daughter right now, and you know what? I'm totally okay with that.
Monday, April 2, 2012
General Conference Weekend 2012
This past weekend was MARVELOUS. Sitting at home in my pajamas, eating delicious food all while watching church on television. How bad could that be? In years past, when I was younger, I have to admit that I was not a fan of the biannual televised church meetings. Sitting for hours at a time, listening to a TON of speakers lost its appeal quickly for me. And most of the time, I would find myself falling asleep, and waking up during the last speaker, thankful that I could go and do something, anything else once the sessions were over.
And now, I have completely changed. Not only do I enjoy every minute of every session, but the moment that it's over, I instantly long for the next time, where I can feel uplifted and inspired. I also love the feeling of hope and happiness that I feel in listening to the words of those that know better what's happening with the current affairs of the world. My thought is if the Prophet says that there is much good in the world today, then I should continue to have faith in humanity, and focus on the positives.
I also love to spend time with family, and on occasion, some great friends from my past. This past weekend, I was able to have dinner with one of my former Mission Presidents. He was in town for Conference, and though it was great to see him and catch up on things, what happened afterwards was wonderful. The exchange opened up the flood of memories I'd had as a missionary, and had me reflecting back on that spiritual time in my life. I realized how much I have grown and changed since I went to Brazil back in 2000, and noticed with happiness how much stronger my testimony has strengthened since leaving for the MTC 12 years ago. Though I am not perfect, it is nice to occasionally see signs of growth and development that I have made in my life.
I am grateful for the choices I have made that have led me up to this time in my life. Though I could be skinnier, wealthier and more ambitious, I would not change anything in my life, especially in choosing to marry my sweet hubby, and having my beautiful baby girl.
And now, I have completely changed. Not only do I enjoy every minute of every session, but the moment that it's over, I instantly long for the next time, where I can feel uplifted and inspired. I also love the feeling of hope and happiness that I feel in listening to the words of those that know better what's happening with the current affairs of the world. My thought is if the Prophet says that there is much good in the world today, then I should continue to have faith in humanity, and focus on the positives.
I also love to spend time with family, and on occasion, some great friends from my past. This past weekend, I was able to have dinner with one of my former Mission Presidents. He was in town for Conference, and though it was great to see him and catch up on things, what happened afterwards was wonderful. The exchange opened up the flood of memories I'd had as a missionary, and had me reflecting back on that spiritual time in my life. I realized how much I have grown and changed since I went to Brazil back in 2000, and noticed with happiness how much stronger my testimony has strengthened since leaving for the MTC 12 years ago. Though I am not perfect, it is nice to occasionally see signs of growth and development that I have made in my life.
I am grateful for the choices I have made that have led me up to this time in my life. Though I could be skinnier, wealthier and more ambitious, I would not change anything in my life, especially in choosing to marry my sweet hubby, and having my beautiful baby girl.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Recipe #2-Best Sugar Cookies EVER
I didn't post yesterday, which is a huge disappointment to me. However, today is another day, and I am still trucking, so I shall proceed.
Today's post is my absolute favorite Sugar Cookie recipe. I also included two types of frosting; both of them are equally as good as the other. The cool thing about this recipe is that you can roll it out and cut shapes like a normal recipe, or shape little one inch balls and while they are baking, they will flatten into circles. No extra effort in that method, if you choose to do so.
SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE
2/3 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. baking powder
dash salt
1 egg
2 cups flour
1 tsp. vanilla
Blend together in order of ingredients. Form into ball, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour. Roll and cut into shapes, or roll into one inch balls and place two inches apart on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. Let sit on cookie sheet for a few minutes to cool before removing to wire racks. Cool completely before icing.
CREAM CHEESE FROSTING (see below for other type of icing)
6 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 tsp. vanilla
4-1/2 to 4-3/4 cups powdered sugar
food coloring, if desired
With hand mixer, blend first two ingredients, then add vanilla and slowly add powdered sugar until good consistency.
SUGAR COOKIE ICING
4 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
5 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
food coloring, if desired
Cream together sugar and butter until mixed. Add milk and vanilla until you've reached the desired consistency.
Today's post is my absolute favorite Sugar Cookie recipe. I also included two types of frosting; both of them are equally as good as the other. The cool thing about this recipe is that you can roll it out and cut shapes like a normal recipe, or shape little one inch balls and while they are baking, they will flatten into circles. No extra effort in that method, if you choose to do so.
SUGAR COOKIE RECIPE
2/3 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. baking powder
dash salt
1 egg
2 cups flour
1 tsp. vanilla
Blend together in order of ingredients. Form into ball, wrap in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least an hour. Roll and cut into shapes, or roll into one inch balls and place two inches apart on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes. Let sit on cookie sheet for a few minutes to cool before removing to wire racks. Cool completely before icing.
CREAM CHEESE FROSTING (see below for other type of icing)
6 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 cup butter, softened
2 tsp. vanilla
4-1/2 to 4-3/4 cups powdered sugar
food coloring, if desired
With hand mixer, blend first two ingredients, then add vanilla and slowly add powdered sugar until good consistency.
SUGAR COOKIE ICING
4 cups powdered sugar
1/2 cup butter, softened
5 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
food coloring, if desired
Cream together sugar and butter until mixed. Add milk and vanilla until you've reached the desired consistency.
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
A Spiritually MIscellaneous Thought #2
So, obviously, Sunday is not a good day for me to blog. I guess it's really a day that my mind just shuts down, and only the most minimal of functions work to get me through the day. And, Monday, was a fun filled day with my daughter, who took me swimming, playing and eating at McDonald's, and then home for a long nap. In the evening, we watched "The Grinch who Stole Christmas" (Jim Carrey version). It was an awesome day, and no time to blog about it as it was happening.
SO, after a two day recess, I am back in full blogging mode. I am back on schedule, and anxious to share more. And for today, I would like to share something that has been in my thoughts for over the past year.
About a year ago, I decided to go off of my antidepressant medication. Now, before you all get weird about me admitting this (especially those of you who feel that I should be medicated), I want to explain to you why I did it, and what has happened because of it.
First of all, I was on the lowest dose possible. It was just enough to help my coping mechanisms function to where I could process day to day events without completely shutting down emotionally, and failing to react or respond in any logical way. Secondly, my mother recommended that I read this book called "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth, which is actually a meditation diet book, that opened up an interesting dimension to my life that I had previously failed to see.
Just to summarize the point and purpose that I took from the book, the author says that instead of following both conventional and unconventional diets, we are actually setting ourselves up for failure. Instead, through meditation and listening to the "voices" in ourselves, if we are in tune with our bodies, our own appetites and desires, then we will always be eating what our bodies need, and not forcing it to eat what we think it needs, or what we think we need. It was an interesting book. I learned a lot about my approach to food and my body, but the extra spiritual lesson that I took from it was both and added and unexpected bonus.
After reading through the book a couple of times, I realized that the concept that Geneen Roth was teaching, applied to ALL of my appetites, not just food related. Though she is an Atheist, she poses that in each and every one of us (other than schizophrenics and multiple personality disorders sufferers), there are three inside voices that we listen to every day.
The first voice, is the voice in our mind. It is the collage and combination of the external data, media, etc, that we receive through our eyes, ears and mouth. It is the voice that tells us the logic and reason of the information that floods through what we see and hear. On a spiritual note, I believe that the adversary, or the devil, as most call him, communicates to us through this way. He cannot read our minds, but he can manipulate the messages on the outside and make sure that we ingest it.
The second voice, is what Geneen Roth calls your "gut instinct". It's your moral compass, or as I compare it, the Holy Ghost, or the witness from God that prompts and communicates to us what our Maker would have us know and do. Geneen says that this voice is the purest one. It's the one that always speaks the truth, and doesn't lead you astray. However, we tend to mute it out since the voice in our mind and the other voice I am about to introduce, seem to speak louder. After being ignored or pushed into the background for so long, this voice will eventually feel like it has ceased to speak, and will not reappear unless we pay it heed.
Lastly, the final voice is our own inner monologue. It's the collection of the other voices information, if you will. It's the one that sounds familiar when it says things like, we're worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, that we don't deserve any happiness, etc. It's influenced ultimately by the other voices, but since it's "our" own voice, we seem to pay the most attention to it. The voices in our mind and our gut mold and shape our inner monologue, but then we take what we want from the mind and gut, and speak it to ourselves.
After learning about this concept, I came to a realization. I needed to pay attention to the right voice, and to learn what affected me and my body so that I could control my behavior and mood.
And so the change began. It was very difficult at first. Difficult because I had to take a look around at what I was allowing myself exposure to, and what could I start to eliminate? Yes, food was the first change. After all, the book focused more on that aspect than others, but the concept applies to everything. Secondly, I focused on what kinds of things triggered my emotions. I realized very quickly that certain things on TV or in books or movies could change me very quickly, and affect my mood for long periods of time. Music was another trigger. Anything that left me feeling empty, agitated or full of fear, I decided that I no longer needed it in my life, and did away with whatever affected me in that way. In just a few months, I saw a huge difference. Not that I think that everyone who suffers from depression should follow my example, but it wouldn't hurt to do some spiritual "spring cleaning" in addition to counseling or medication.
Now, you are probably thinking, "she must be one of those annoyingly happy, self righteous people that will force her ideas and views on everyone to try and change them." And no, you are wrong. Yes, I am writing about it here, but I will never force this on everyone, because of another thing that I learned through all of this. Different things trigger different people. Some things that bother me, do not bother my husband, or my parents, siblings, friends, etc. Just as an example, it doesn't matter what the rating of a movie is, it's the CONTENT and how I FEEL while I watch, read, experience, that I research now. I know what will affect me in the long run, and so therefore I will take responsibility for what I do/see. Just like how I control what I eat, I now have decided to listen to my voices (through meditation), and hopefully through the right one, I control what I take in on a daily basis.
In summation, I am constantly surprised with what triggers me, nowadays. I seem to be more sensitive to lots of things that I thought didn't bother me when I started on this journey. Some books and movies that tweens and teenagers like triggers me in the wrong way, so I avoid them, even though I'm 33 years old. My new lifestyle gets some interesting reactions from friends, and family, but I have to do what I have to do for me. Some things don't surprise me, like how I'm much happier when I don't watch the local news anymore. Instead of allowing outside influences, even well intended ones decide for me what's acceptable or not for me to ingest, I am "taking the wheel" of my life, and doing what's best for me.
Overall, I am much happier, and more importantly, I don't have moments of anxiety or paralyzing fear. I don't worry about what I can't control, and instead educate myself on how I can be better prepared in all things. Whether you are religious or not, it doesn't matter. If you find yourself relating to how I am, then I invite you to search within yourself and listen to right voices that will guide you to a more contented life.
SO, after a two day recess, I am back in full blogging mode. I am back on schedule, and anxious to share more. And for today, I would like to share something that has been in my thoughts for over the past year.
About a year ago, I decided to go off of my antidepressant medication. Now, before you all get weird about me admitting this (especially those of you who feel that I should be medicated), I want to explain to you why I did it, and what has happened because of it.
First of all, I was on the lowest dose possible. It was just enough to help my coping mechanisms function to where I could process day to day events without completely shutting down emotionally, and failing to react or respond in any logical way. Secondly, my mother recommended that I read this book called "Women, Food and God" by Geneen Roth, which is actually a meditation diet book, that opened up an interesting dimension to my life that I had previously failed to see.
Just to summarize the point and purpose that I took from the book, the author says that instead of following both conventional and unconventional diets, we are actually setting ourselves up for failure. Instead, through meditation and listening to the "voices" in ourselves, if we are in tune with our bodies, our own appetites and desires, then we will always be eating what our bodies need, and not forcing it to eat what we think it needs, or what we think we need. It was an interesting book. I learned a lot about my approach to food and my body, but the extra spiritual lesson that I took from it was both and added and unexpected bonus.
After reading through the book a couple of times, I realized that the concept that Geneen Roth was teaching, applied to ALL of my appetites, not just food related. Though she is an Atheist, she poses that in each and every one of us (other than schizophrenics and multiple personality disorders sufferers), there are three inside voices that we listen to every day.
The first voice, is the voice in our mind. It is the collage and combination of the external data, media, etc, that we receive through our eyes, ears and mouth. It is the voice that tells us the logic and reason of the information that floods through what we see and hear. On a spiritual note, I believe that the adversary, or the devil, as most call him, communicates to us through this way. He cannot read our minds, but he can manipulate the messages on the outside and make sure that we ingest it.
The second voice, is what Geneen Roth calls your "gut instinct". It's your moral compass, or as I compare it, the Holy Ghost, or the witness from God that prompts and communicates to us what our Maker would have us know and do. Geneen says that this voice is the purest one. It's the one that always speaks the truth, and doesn't lead you astray. However, we tend to mute it out since the voice in our mind and the other voice I am about to introduce, seem to speak louder. After being ignored or pushed into the background for so long, this voice will eventually feel like it has ceased to speak, and will not reappear unless we pay it heed.
Lastly, the final voice is our own inner monologue. It's the collection of the other voices information, if you will. It's the one that sounds familiar when it says things like, we're worthless, stupid, ugly, fat, that we don't deserve any happiness, etc. It's influenced ultimately by the other voices, but since it's "our" own voice, we seem to pay the most attention to it. The voices in our mind and our gut mold and shape our inner monologue, but then we take what we want from the mind and gut, and speak it to ourselves.
After learning about this concept, I came to a realization. I needed to pay attention to the right voice, and to learn what affected me and my body so that I could control my behavior and mood.
And so the change began. It was very difficult at first. Difficult because I had to take a look around at what I was allowing myself exposure to, and what could I start to eliminate? Yes, food was the first change. After all, the book focused more on that aspect than others, but the concept applies to everything. Secondly, I focused on what kinds of things triggered my emotions. I realized very quickly that certain things on TV or in books or movies could change me very quickly, and affect my mood for long periods of time. Music was another trigger. Anything that left me feeling empty, agitated or full of fear, I decided that I no longer needed it in my life, and did away with whatever affected me in that way. In just a few months, I saw a huge difference. Not that I think that everyone who suffers from depression should follow my example, but it wouldn't hurt to do some spiritual "spring cleaning" in addition to counseling or medication.
Now, you are probably thinking, "she must be one of those annoyingly happy, self righteous people that will force her ideas and views on everyone to try and change them." And no, you are wrong. Yes, I am writing about it here, but I will never force this on everyone, because of another thing that I learned through all of this. Different things trigger different people. Some things that bother me, do not bother my husband, or my parents, siblings, friends, etc. Just as an example, it doesn't matter what the rating of a movie is, it's the CONTENT and how I FEEL while I watch, read, experience, that I research now. I know what will affect me in the long run, and so therefore I will take responsibility for what I do/see. Just like how I control what I eat, I now have decided to listen to my voices (through meditation), and hopefully through the right one, I control what I take in on a daily basis.
In summation, I am constantly surprised with what triggers me, nowadays. I seem to be more sensitive to lots of things that I thought didn't bother me when I started on this journey. Some books and movies that tweens and teenagers like triggers me in the wrong way, so I avoid them, even though I'm 33 years old. My new lifestyle gets some interesting reactions from friends, and family, but I have to do what I have to do for me. Some things don't surprise me, like how I'm much happier when I don't watch the local news anymore. Instead of allowing outside influences, even well intended ones decide for me what's acceptable or not for me to ingest, I am "taking the wheel" of my life, and doing what's best for me.
Overall, I am much happier, and more importantly, I don't have moments of anxiety or paralyzing fear. I don't worry about what I can't control, and instead educate myself on how I can be better prepared in all things. Whether you are religious or not, it doesn't matter. If you find yourself relating to how I am, then I invite you to search within yourself and listen to right voices that will guide you to a more contented life.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Favorite Thing and Political Thought #1
So, I already have gone against my word and missed a day to post on this thing. It has been an eventful weekend, so I have decided to post two thoughts in one to get back "on track". Ironically, the schedule that I have made for myself for this blog is that I write about "Favorite Things" (supposedly on Fridays), and a "Political Thought" on Saturdays. Wow. Those two things could be quite interesting to post together, but I am up for a challenge, and will go for it.
The link between these two topics for me is the show, "Who Do You Think You Are?" Have you ever seen it? It airs every Friday night on NBC at 7 (Mountain Time), and it's already on its second season, though each episode is dedicated to a different celebrity, so you can pick up on it at any time. So far, celebrities like Martin Sheen, Marisa Tomei, Reba McIntyre, Jerome Bettis and Helen Hunt have gone on a search for details into their family histories. My favorite thing this week is this show, which I watch religiously. Though I don't have a particularly favorite episode, I have to say that the coolest part about watching each star's journey, is watching as they find some sort of commonality with their ancestry. For example, last night, Helen Hunt found herself in Portland, Maine, where her great great grandmother was at the forefront of the Woman's Suffrage Movement in her city. After years of fighting for the right to vote, at 93 years of age, this woman in Helen Hunt's family was allowed the honor of casting the first ballot in her town once the 19th amendment was amended to allow equal voting rights for women. Of course, Helen Hunt was proud to learn of her great great grandmother's achievements, but what was her personal connection to this amazing event? When Helen was pregnant with her daughter, though she was just several weeks along, she was concerned about her unborn baby. When her and her partner were in Maine, they found someone that was able to provide them with the technology to hear the heartbeat of their tiny weeks old fetus. Helen found it quite touching that the first time that she heard her daughter's sign of life, was in the same place where her great great grandmother made great strides towards equal rights for women, which all women, including Helen Hunt's daughter, now live in a world where women have the same rights as men.
Is that a coincidence? I believe that it is not. When I watch this show, I feel like I not only should find out more about my ancestors, but find a way to relate to those that have gone before me. After watching an episode of this show, the desire to know more about my family becomes insatiable, and I want to find out as much about anyone in my family tree as I can. And last week, I did.
My grandfather, Julian, lost his mother when he was just ten years old. His younger siblings, Betty and Don, were seven and five years old when they were suddenly found without a mother. It's a tragedy that my great grandmother passed away in the prime of her life, but it really hit me hard when I discovered that she died when she was 33 years old. I am the same age as she was when she died. It was a sobering moment for me, as I thought about my sweet little girl, and what life would be like for her if I died as young as my great grandmother did. What would my daughter remember about me? Even though my grandfather was ten years old, I wonder how much he could recall about his own mother as the years went by. My great grandfather went on to marry again, and as far as the family has heard, she was a wonderful mother to my grandfather and his siblings.
Little things like knowing this fact about my great grandmother is important to me. Like Helen Hunt says in her episode of her journey on "Who Do You Think You Are" that when learning things about your family "wakes up parts of you". It's so true, and I challenge each and every one of you to try and find a connection to someone who has gone before you, because I am sure that you will feel more "fulfilled and dimensional".
Now, as far as my political thought goes, I have just one statement. If everyone were to learn more about their past through their family histories, then I believe that society could actually improve. If you learn that your ancestors were pivotal in fighting for and protecting this country, then maybe your pride and patriotism would awaken within you, and your desire to preserve and protect what your ancestors started would guide you to make the right choices and decisions to make today's world better. I don't find it a coincidence that this country was started by those that came from other places that persecuted them for their race, religion, or social status, and that we are challenged to protect those rights even more so today than ever before. I think that most of us would be surprised at how we arrived to be the way we are today, and to know where we came from, helps us to know where we're going. As you learn more about your family, be sure to take in what's important to you, and spread the message in your realm of responsibility. Your family lived and died doing and believing what they felt was right. I am sure they continue to count on us to continue in their legacy.
The link between these two topics for me is the show, "Who Do You Think You Are?" Have you ever seen it? It airs every Friday night on NBC at 7 (Mountain Time), and it's already on its second season, though each episode is dedicated to a different celebrity, so you can pick up on it at any time. So far, celebrities like Martin Sheen, Marisa Tomei, Reba McIntyre, Jerome Bettis and Helen Hunt have gone on a search for details into their family histories. My favorite thing this week is this show, which I watch religiously. Though I don't have a particularly favorite episode, I have to say that the coolest part about watching each star's journey, is watching as they find some sort of commonality with their ancestry. For example, last night, Helen Hunt found herself in Portland, Maine, where her great great grandmother was at the forefront of the Woman's Suffrage Movement in her city. After years of fighting for the right to vote, at 93 years of age, this woman in Helen Hunt's family was allowed the honor of casting the first ballot in her town once the 19th amendment was amended to allow equal voting rights for women. Of course, Helen Hunt was proud to learn of her great great grandmother's achievements, but what was her personal connection to this amazing event? When Helen was pregnant with her daughter, though she was just several weeks along, she was concerned about her unborn baby. When her and her partner were in Maine, they found someone that was able to provide them with the technology to hear the heartbeat of their tiny weeks old fetus. Helen found it quite touching that the first time that she heard her daughter's sign of life, was in the same place where her great great grandmother made great strides towards equal rights for women, which all women, including Helen Hunt's daughter, now live in a world where women have the same rights as men.
Is that a coincidence? I believe that it is not. When I watch this show, I feel like I not only should find out more about my ancestors, but find a way to relate to those that have gone before me. After watching an episode of this show, the desire to know more about my family becomes insatiable, and I want to find out as much about anyone in my family tree as I can. And last week, I did.
My grandfather, Julian, lost his mother when he was just ten years old. His younger siblings, Betty and Don, were seven and five years old when they were suddenly found without a mother. It's a tragedy that my great grandmother passed away in the prime of her life, but it really hit me hard when I discovered that she died when she was 33 years old. I am the same age as she was when she died. It was a sobering moment for me, as I thought about my sweet little girl, and what life would be like for her if I died as young as my great grandmother did. What would my daughter remember about me? Even though my grandfather was ten years old, I wonder how much he could recall about his own mother as the years went by. My great grandfather went on to marry again, and as far as the family has heard, she was a wonderful mother to my grandfather and his siblings.
Little things like knowing this fact about my great grandmother is important to me. Like Helen Hunt says in her episode of her journey on "Who Do You Think You Are" that when learning things about your family "wakes up parts of you". It's so true, and I challenge each and every one of you to try and find a connection to someone who has gone before you, because I am sure that you will feel more "fulfilled and dimensional".
Now, as far as my political thought goes, I have just one statement. If everyone were to learn more about their past through their family histories, then I believe that society could actually improve. If you learn that your ancestors were pivotal in fighting for and protecting this country, then maybe your pride and patriotism would awaken within you, and your desire to preserve and protect what your ancestors started would guide you to make the right choices and decisions to make today's world better. I don't find it a coincidence that this country was started by those that came from other places that persecuted them for their race, religion, or social status, and that we are challenged to protect those rights even more so today than ever before. I think that most of us would be surprised at how we arrived to be the way we are today, and to know where we came from, helps us to know where we're going. As you learn more about your family, be sure to take in what's important to you, and spread the message in your realm of responsibility. Your family lived and died doing and believing what they felt was right. I am sure they continue to count on us to continue in their legacy.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
City Creek Mall Review and Movie Theme Schedule
I was planning on just sharing my movie theme idea for today's post, but I risked my life and went to the Grand Opening of the City City Mall here in downtown Salt Lake City!! It was BEAUTIFUL! Lots of great new and oldie but goodie stores, with a bunch of extra features, like splash fountains (like the one at the Gateway mall), one that's for bigger kids, and one for smaller kids which would be perfect for my toddler. The food court was huge, with tons of indoor and outdoor seating. The Cheesecake Factory is there! Isn't that enough of a selling point? I loved Tiffany & Co. with the most GORGEOUS jewelry (the most sparkly diamonds I have ever seen), and Mom, if you're reading this, they have a killer rose gold jewelry set. The only store I regret missing, was Swarovski, but I will definitely be catching that one again next week on my return visit. All in all, it was a lovely day (great weather, too) for doing some window shopping. Giada's favorite store, of course, was the Disney store, which is darling. As a matter of fact, during and after the afternoon session of General Conference on Saturday, March 31st, Mickey and Minnie Mouse will be appearing from noon to 4 at the new store, if anyone is interested. Also, I took some crappy photos of my visit to the mall, and will post them later after my husband gets home and can help me post them :)
Now, onto my Movie Theme schedule. You may be wondering what I'm talking about. Well, Rob and I love to watch all kinds of movies, but every once in a while, we hit the 'movie rut', and not one of our millions of DVDs or On Demand or neighborhood Red Box does the job for us. SO, as a challenge, and to mix things up, I came up with an entire year schedule of different types of movies that we could watch. So, though March is nearly over, I will share with you our April schedule, and see if you are up to the challenge to follow it once a week for the entire month. Rob and I have already failed in doing so for most of February and all of March. But I hope to start it up again in April. And for friends out there that would want to meet with us to do a night, let me know! It would be awesome!!!
April's Movie Schedule:
Week One: Dumbest Movie
Week Two: Documentary
Week Three: Musical
Week Four: Shakespeare
Now, onto my Movie Theme schedule. You may be wondering what I'm talking about. Well, Rob and I love to watch all kinds of movies, but every once in a while, we hit the 'movie rut', and not one of our millions of DVDs or On Demand or neighborhood Red Box does the job for us. SO, as a challenge, and to mix things up, I came up with an entire year schedule of different types of movies that we could watch. So, though March is nearly over, I will share with you our April schedule, and see if you are up to the challenge to follow it once a week for the entire month. Rob and I have already failed in doing so for most of February and all of March. But I hope to start it up again in April. And for friends out there that would want to meet with us to do a night, let me know! It would be awesome!!!
April's Movie Schedule:
Week One: Dumbest Movie
Week Two: Documentary
Week Three: Musical
Week Four: Shakespeare
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Recipe #1-Brazilian Cheese Bread, aka Pao de Queijo
Ladies and Gentlemen!!
Today, I am posting one of my favorite bread recipes, ever. This is a chewy, gooey cheese bread, that's just as good with a dab of jam as well as by itself. These are addictive, and will most possibly become your most favorite bread ever.
Ingredients:
1 cup whole milk
4 Tbsp butter, melted
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3-1/2 cups plus 2 Tbsp tapioca flour
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup grated farmer's cheese, or any firm, fresh cow's milk cheese (mozzarella or parmesan)
2-3 Tbsp grated cheddar cheese (optional)
salt to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix milk, salt, vegetable oil and butter in a pot, and bring to a boil. As soon as it boils, remove from heat. Stir the tapioca flour into the the pot. Stir in the eggs and the cheese, and mix well (don't overmix, or the bread will be tough). Let mixture cool for 15-30 minutes so that it will be easy to touch on your hands. With floured hands (use the tapioca flour), shape the dough into small balls (about 1 inch). Place on slightly greased baking sheet about 1/2-1 inch apart. Bake rolls for 20-25 minutes, until they are puffed up and are golden. They will have cracks in them, and that's normal. Serve warm by themselves, or with the jam of your choice for a sweet and savory taste.
Today, I am posting one of my favorite bread recipes, ever. This is a chewy, gooey cheese bread, that's just as good with a dab of jam as well as by itself. These are addictive, and will most possibly become your most favorite bread ever.
Ingredients:
1 cup whole milk
4 Tbsp butter, melted
1/4 cup vegetable oil
3-1/2 cups plus 2 Tbsp tapioca flour
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1 cup grated farmer's cheese, or any firm, fresh cow's milk cheese (mozzarella or parmesan)
2-3 Tbsp grated cheddar cheese (optional)
salt to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix milk, salt, vegetable oil and butter in a pot, and bring to a boil. As soon as it boils, remove from heat. Stir the tapioca flour into the the pot. Stir in the eggs and the cheese, and mix well (don't overmix, or the bread will be tough). Let mixture cool for 15-30 minutes so that it will be easy to touch on your hands. With floured hands (use the tapioca flour), shape the dough into small balls (about 1 inch). Place on slightly greased baking sheet about 1/2-1 inch apart. Bake rolls for 20-25 minutes, until they are puffed up and are golden. They will have cracks in them, and that's normal. Serve warm by themselves, or with the jam of your choice for a sweet and savory taste.
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Motherhood Thought #1-My Job
Before I became a mommy, I was working 40 hours a week at a bank, and spending an additional 30 hours a week with a church responsibility, helping the youth. I complained that my house wasn't clean, and that I didn't have time to read a book. My husband and I almost always spent the weekends eating out and watching the latest movies. Our lives were very full and busy, and I looked forward to the day when I could be a stay at home mom, and not have to "work" anymore. Boy, was I stupid.
Now, I don't even count my working hours, because I'm pretty sure that the only break I get, if my boss isn't teething or sick, is a good night's sleep. No lunch break, and honestly, not even a bathroom break (I almost typed "potty break", but I stopped myself). Some of you are probably thinking, what about nap time? Ha, that's funny, because that's the only time that I have to frantically throw in a few loads of laundry, do the dishes, and then if I'm lucky, I get to sit down on my couch and stare at the wall for a few brief minutes before my boss yells from her room, "Mama!!"
It's a funny experience, raising a human being. There are so many dimensions to it that it's hard to cover them all. So, I decided that I would cover my favorite ones.
When my husband and I first got married, we had an interesting adjustment period. We were different from other newlyweds, because my husband was from Brazil, and moved to America just in time for our wedding. So, not only was I a wife, but a tour guide, and an English tutor. I had to show my husband some of the things that were different here, so that he could become adjusted. Now, ten years later, his English is nearly perfect (and yes, I nearly cried with pride every time I would proofread his school papers, because due to my OCD nature of spelling and grammar, it rubbed off on him and now his writing is immaculate). But now, I no longer need to be a tour guide or a tutor to him, because he is now a seasoned veteran of how things roll here in America. Now, why did I go off on that tangent? It's because I am explaining my first favorite thing to do as mom. I am my daughter's tour guide and tutor, and I LOVE it. It's even better than when I did it for my husband, because she's fascinated at every little thing, and it makes every day so exciting. There's something about showing my daughter the beauties of the world that makes me see the wonders again through her eyes. I had gotten so used to seeking out entertainment through more conventional means, like a cinema, but now I have grown to appreciate the excitement of going to the park, or the grocery store. Everyone should see the world the way that my daughter sees it, and then simple things would be fun and exciting again.
Is it worth it? To be a "stay at home" employee? Absolutely. I love my boss, my hours are long and arduous, but at the end of the day, when I snuggle with my little monkey princess, I look into those sweet brown eyes and scandalously long lashes, and thank the Lord that I get to do the best job out there.
So, here's my question to all of you moms: what's your favorite part of "Motherhood"?
Oh, and P.S. I did finally find time to read a book all of the way through. If only I could finish writing one of my books (sigh).
Now, I don't even count my working hours, because I'm pretty sure that the only break I get, if my boss isn't teething or sick, is a good night's sleep. No lunch break, and honestly, not even a bathroom break (I almost typed "potty break", but I stopped myself). Some of you are probably thinking, what about nap time? Ha, that's funny, because that's the only time that I have to frantically throw in a few loads of laundry, do the dishes, and then if I'm lucky, I get to sit down on my couch and stare at the wall for a few brief minutes before my boss yells from her room, "Mama!!"
It's a funny experience, raising a human being. There are so many dimensions to it that it's hard to cover them all. So, I decided that I would cover my favorite ones.
When my husband and I first got married, we had an interesting adjustment period. We were different from other newlyweds, because my husband was from Brazil, and moved to America just in time for our wedding. So, not only was I a wife, but a tour guide, and an English tutor. I had to show my husband some of the things that were different here, so that he could become adjusted. Now, ten years later, his English is nearly perfect (and yes, I nearly cried with pride every time I would proofread his school papers, because due to my OCD nature of spelling and grammar, it rubbed off on him and now his writing is immaculate). But now, I no longer need to be a tour guide or a tutor to him, because he is now a seasoned veteran of how things roll here in America. Now, why did I go off on that tangent? It's because I am explaining my first favorite thing to do as mom. I am my daughter's tour guide and tutor, and I LOVE it. It's even better than when I did it for my husband, because she's fascinated at every little thing, and it makes every day so exciting. There's something about showing my daughter the beauties of the world that makes me see the wonders again through her eyes. I had gotten so used to seeking out entertainment through more conventional means, like a cinema, but now I have grown to appreciate the excitement of going to the park, or the grocery store. Everyone should see the world the way that my daughter sees it, and then simple things would be fun and exciting again.
Is it worth it? To be a "stay at home" employee? Absolutely. I love my boss, my hours are long and arduous, but at the end of the day, when I snuggle with my little monkey princess, I look into those sweet brown eyes and scandalously long lashes, and thank the Lord that I get to do the best job out there.
So, here's my question to all of you moms: what's your favorite part of "Motherhood"?
Oh, and P.S. I did finally find time to read a book all of the way through. If only I could finish writing one of my books (sigh).
Monday, March 19, 2012
Miscellaneous Thought #1-Romantic Men
I was watching the Keira Knightley version of Pride and Prejudice the other day, and as I watched Mr. Darcy (the curiously charismatically attractive Matthew Macfadyen) literally glide across a dew kissed morning meadow, his leather coattails flapping behind him, a thought came to my mind. I wonder why men were so much more romantic back then. What an ignorant thought, huh? But seriously, bear with me. As I thought more and more about it, it dawned on me that every leading man in Jane Austen's novels, at some point, came from wealth or were headed for it. They had all the time in the world to smell flowers, take long romantic walks through forests and on sandy beaches. They could deliver eloquently written poetry and love letters on horseback, make a woman's heart stop beating with one smoldering gaze, or make her yearn for more with a brief gentle touch or kiss on her hand.
I don't know about you, but I don't get any of that at my house (other than the kissing on the hand, which my sweetie calls a "princess kiss"). Am I disappointed? To be frank, no I am not. If my dear husband wrote me a poem, it would be sweet and albeit, cheesy. I would love the effort and be grateful to him for his time and creativity. However, I would be a liar if I said that the same effect would occur for me if the man decided on his own to one day do the dishes (and just a disclaimer here, my husband actually vacuums our house more than I do, and does his own laundry on occasion, so I'm not complaining, just making a point).
So here's the funny part about our version of romantic men today. Sure, they still can write poetry or a song, bring us hand picked flowers and initiate a cute make out session. But the problem we have today with Austen-esque romance is not the fault of either the man or the woman. It's the sheer robbery of time. Unless you are wealthy, royalty or a celebrity, I am pretty sure that the longest honeymoon you could afford or do, would be at most two weeks. Mine was a few days. Life had to go on, and we couldn't afford to "live on love" as my father puts it, because bills had to be paid. Does that mean that romantic men don't exist? Of course they do!
Unless we make time for it, we don't have time to be romantic like a Jane Austen novel, or part of the Twilight series. In the real world, there's work to be done, children to raise, houses to clean and bills to pay. I honestly think that unless there were some time consuming activities to do back in Jane Austen's time, spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week canoodling with my Mr. Darcy would ultimately lead to boredom. What? With sexy Mr. Darcy? Yes, even with him.
And what about other iconic "romantic leading men"? I would think the same would happen with dear Edward (just think-no sunny vacations, EVER), or Jacob (two words ladies, WOLF HAIR). Let's face it, ladies, even though "real" men aren't nearly as exciting as a wolf, bloodsucker or extremely wealthy landowner, we are lucky to have the ones that change diapers and play with the kids, work hard both at work and at home, let us sleep in, and still offer occasionally to take us to see "Pride and Prejudice" on the big screen with (minimal) complaining.
SO, now that I've sounded off on this topic, what do you have to say about it?
I don't know about you, but I don't get any of that at my house (other than the kissing on the hand, which my sweetie calls a "princess kiss"). Am I disappointed? To be frank, no I am not. If my dear husband wrote me a poem, it would be sweet and albeit, cheesy. I would love the effort and be grateful to him for his time and creativity. However, I would be a liar if I said that the same effect would occur for me if the man decided on his own to one day do the dishes (and just a disclaimer here, my husband actually vacuums our house more than I do, and does his own laundry on occasion, so I'm not complaining, just making a point).
So here's the funny part about our version of romantic men today. Sure, they still can write poetry or a song, bring us hand picked flowers and initiate a cute make out session. But the problem we have today with Austen-esque romance is not the fault of either the man or the woman. It's the sheer robbery of time. Unless you are wealthy, royalty or a celebrity, I am pretty sure that the longest honeymoon you could afford or do, would be at most two weeks. Mine was a few days. Life had to go on, and we couldn't afford to "live on love" as my father puts it, because bills had to be paid. Does that mean that romantic men don't exist? Of course they do!
Unless we make time for it, we don't have time to be romantic like a Jane Austen novel, or part of the Twilight series. In the real world, there's work to be done, children to raise, houses to clean and bills to pay. I honestly think that unless there were some time consuming activities to do back in Jane Austen's time, spending 24 hours a day, seven days a week canoodling with my Mr. Darcy would ultimately lead to boredom. What? With sexy Mr. Darcy? Yes, even with him.
And what about other iconic "romantic leading men"? I would think the same would happen with dear Edward (just think-no sunny vacations, EVER), or Jacob (two words ladies, WOLF HAIR). Let's face it, ladies, even though "real" men aren't nearly as exciting as a wolf, bloodsucker or extremely wealthy landowner, we are lucky to have the ones that change diapers and play with the kids, work hard both at work and at home, let us sleep in, and still offer occasionally to take us to see "Pride and Prejudice" on the big screen with (minimal) complaining.
SO, now that I've sounded off on this topic, what do you have to say about it?
Beginnings and Commitments
Many of my friends have told me that I needed to start my own blog. Some have said that it will keep me sane (which is sad because that ship has sailed LONG ago), while others say they like what I have to say about my views on the daily drudgery of life, and would love to read the ramblings of a mad woman. Great friends, huh?! As for my personal reasons, there are several. First of all, I have ten, yes ten unfinished novels sitting in files on my laptop right now. Though the beauty about a blog is that it is never finished, I figured this would be the place for me to sharpen my writing skills, without the pressure of actually finishing one of my books (heaven forbid that I would actually finish something that I've started). Also, I absolutely stink at keeping a journal, and would like to have fun writing about my daily adventures, while actually giving my posterity something to read (and laugh at) while they learn more about their neurotic ancestor. Other than that, I love to think that I am a fairly well-rounded person (my apple shaped body is physical proof), and have lots to say and offer on several subjects, including music, movies, politics, motherhood, religion and cooking. If no one reads this blog, that's okay, because I will be reading it daily, laughing my face off at my wit and humor, and probably even commenting on my own posts. I would also be grateful though, for any deathly bored or curious soul that wanders onto my page and indulges me in their thoughts. Perhaps new friendships are on the horizon? I may also be saving money and time on therapist bills and medications by pouring out my mind online. All in all, this should be an interesting experiment, with tons of fun along the way.
Oh, and as far as my commitment goes to this blog, I promise that since there's no pressure in "finishing" it, I will be writing every day. Monday will be my Miscellaneous Thoughts day, Tuesday-Motherhood Madness, Wednesday-Marvelous Recipes, Thursday-Movie Moment, Friday-Mel's Favorite Things, Saturday-Melissa's Politics, Sunday-Something Spiritual.
Oh, and as far as my commitment goes to this blog, I promise that since there's no pressure in "finishing" it, I will be writing every day. Monday will be my Miscellaneous Thoughts day, Tuesday-Motherhood Madness, Wednesday-Marvelous Recipes, Thursday-Movie Moment, Friday-Mel's Favorite Things, Saturday-Melissa's Politics, Sunday-Something Spiritual.
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